One night when I was very young I saw the Boogieman in my bedroom.
True . . . I think it has to be one of my earliest memories.
I must have been about three because I clearly remember the bars on my crib.
I shared the room with my two older sisters, Ellen and Lenore. As older sisters thru the ages they loved to tease the younger one.
As we were falling asleep they would tell me the Boogieman lived in the big walk-in closet that was next to my bed.
I remember It had a flowered curtain for a door, and if the window was open it would move in the breeze.
My sisters said it was the Boogieman waking up, and that he would "get" me in my sleep! Then they would laugh.
I had a very good imagination and would often see monsters in the folds of the blankets at the end of the bed. I remember scaring myself quite often.
If I heard a noise from the closet I would try not to move or breathe.
One night I woke when I heard something moving around in the closet.
Something pulled the on the chain to turn on the small overhead light bulb in the closet. I could see the shadow of a large creature on the other side of the curtain. Moving around.
The light went out.
I froze.
It was coming out to "get" me!
I squeezed my eyes tight shut and wished I had thought to pull the cover up over my head.
To late. If I moved it would see me.
I felt it move toward my crib. It paused and then drifted quietly toward the hall door.
I peaked, and saw the back of the large fluffy white creature.
I never forgot, and believed my sisters.
Years later I realized exactly what I had seen.
My mother!
She had a big white fluffy bathrobe.
I didn't see her in it very often. She was always up with my father at the break of dawn. And of course she was fully dressed when we went to bed at night.
But that big old robe probably became the boogieman's coat in the dark bedroom.
Maybe not . . .
Maybe he was real ...
I must have been about seven or eight.
I was in second or third grade.
I know I was old enough to walk home from school by myself, and yet I was still a little bit afraid.
But, I had a secret friend.
Someone who could keep me safe.
Someone who I could talk to if I wanted.
I kept him in my desk at school during the day, and in my hand or pocket when I walked to school and back. (We didn't have backpacks.)
He was a small, black, plastic horse.
He was magnificent, strong and brave.
He was mine.
One day my teacher caught me talking to him.
She took him away.
We were not allowed to bring toys to school.
I don't remember how long she kept him. It probably was only for the rest of that day, but I was devastated.
He was my magic. My Black.
I remember she told me to leave him at home, or I she would take him away for the rest of the year!
I did.
School was not safe anymore.
I Remember:
Being a very little girl.
Maybe four or five.
Waiting for my Birthday.
Hoping to get a horse.
I was dark when I woke that morning. My sisters were both still asleep. I felt something stiff next to me. A paper wrapped something. The package was almost as big as I was. It was not in a box. What could it be.
A doll. A big soft stuffed doll that was as tall as I was. She had elastic on her feet and hands that I could slip MY feet and hands into, so we could dance.
I loved her for a long time.
But, I really wanted a horse!
Well, one could always hope,
Christmas was only a few weeks away!
